Humor

Rude Awakening

by Brian Groce on July 29, 2009

in Brian's Poetry,Hiqoo

Lying on the couch
Taking an afternoon nap
I fall to the floor

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City Ninja #6: Running from the Cops

by Brian Groce on April 27, 2009

in Brian's Photos,City Ninja

City

After all these years there’s still no greater thrill in life than running from the cops with your significant other.

City Ninja #6: Running from the Cops, uploaded by Surge Bucket Media.

Original photo: istockphoto.

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City Ninja #5: Baseball Cheaters

by Brian Groce on April 24, 2009

in Brian's Photos,City Ninja

City

Who said cheaters never “win”?

City Ninja #5: Baseball Cheaters, uploaded by Surge Bucket Media.

Original photo: istockphoto.

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City Ninja #4: Sugar Momma

by Brian Groce on April 23, 2009

in Brian's Photos,City Ninja

City Ninja #4: Sugar Momma

And he told me that he loved me for my personality and good looks! My mom was right about that scumbag only wanting a “Sugar Momma”!

City Ninja #4: Sugar Momma, uploaded by Surge Bucket Media.

Original photo: istockphoto.

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City Ninja #3: Life is too Short

by Brian Groce on April 22, 2009

in Brian's Photos,City Ninja

City Ninja #3: Life is too Short

Life is too short for commitments. Leave your options open and run with the wind.

City Ninja #3: Life is too Short, uploaded by Surge Bucket Media.

Original photo: istockphoto.

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City Ninja #2: Broken Compass

by Brian Groce on April 21, 2009

in Brian's Photos,City Ninja

City Ninja #2: Broken Compass

Even a broken compass is right on occasion.

City Ninja #2: Broken Compass, uploaded by Surge Bucket Media.
Original photo: istockphoto.

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City Ninja #1: Ellen amp; Edith vonTootsalot

Ellen and Edith vonTootsalot enjoy a nice summer afternoon swinging in the shade while shooting the breeze and breaking wind.

City Ninja #1: Ellen and Edith vonTootsalot, uploaded by Surge Bucket Media.
Original photo: www.flickr.com/photos/george_eastman_house/3334091364/.

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80 Percent Fresh Ground Beef

by Brian Groce on January 29, 2007

in Brian's Blogs,Never Picture Perfect

I was recently over at a friends house and we decided that we wanted to make some nachos, but all of the ingredients were not on hand. So we hopped in his car and he headed to a certain foreign based discount supermarket chain. While not my first choice (or any choice at all) for purchasing meat, I did find the signage interesting.

Above the ground beef it said:

80% Fresh Ground Beef

At this point I’m pleading with him to at least get the 97% Fresh Ground Beef, as it would be easier to stomach 3% of whatever the non-fresh ground beef consisted of. I’m standing there thinking, out loud of course, what in the world could that 3 or 20 % consist of. In a “regular” grocery store that would often refer to the amount of fat in the beef (97% lean for example), but was that the case here. Of course, I wasn’t going to take the time to actually read the label and my mind began on a journey of its own.

Was the other part rancid ground beef? I’d heard of such practices before with meat and dairy. Maybe it was ground turkey or pork? Maybe it was soy? Or maybe it was something else entirely? I don’t know, but I wondered and I was praying for it to be fat. Juicy, greasy, slimy cow fat.

So we got back and made the nachos and they tasted okay and I don’t believe that any of us got sick from it. But maybe we were the lucky ones and someone else walked away with our portion of “other”. Again, I don’t know and didn’t care to read the label.

Other than that, I will say to stay away from the generic Swiss Cake Rolls/Ho Hos and to spend an extra quarter or two for the real thing. You’ll thank me for it later, trust me.

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